I'm not feeling too great right now.
I suppose feverishly job-hunting would make anybody feel poopy, but it's not just about that. It's about me trying to get my novel in some sort of readable mostly-finished shape, but it's running through my fingers like sand. That's pretty sad. =(
In terms of reading, I started off the year well. I read intensely. I DID finish The Fellowship of The Ring, with the aid of lemon biscuits and chocolate. In fact, I'm 2 books ahead of schedule according to Goodreads. But I stopped reading at the end of last week and I haven't been able to pick up a book since because I don't want to be reading. I want to be writing.
Every book I read, every blog post I read, even when I read my to-do list, all I can think about is how much I want to finish OOTD/ Karalan's Legacy and move on to my next novel. It's driving me a little bit insane and making me feel very depressed. (Not that I wasn't previously depressed about other things. I already had a history of it.) As a reader-writer, I often read a book and think one of 3 things:
1 - This is incredible. I want to learn to write like that!
2 - This is awful. I can do better than that.
3 - This is phenomenal and I'll never be able to write like that. I might as well give up now.
The third can be very debilitating, no? Therefore, I had to take a break from reading. Whenever I'm not thinking about writing, I'm sitting down and writing. And as I write, I just think about how impossible it seems to achieve this one goal that has ended up meaning so much to me.
How to solve this problem?
I have no idea. I do not have the answers. But here's what I'm gonna do anyway.
1. Put aside my fantasy books. Pick up a children's book, something light-hearted and hilarious (Lemony Snicket, preferably) and take a holiday from the headache.
2. Schedule 2 posts and take a one week blogging break. I need to be away from the blogosphere. That's depressing me too.
3. Set small writing goals. Make a list of ALL the things I need to do before the story is done. Then do not add to that list, only allow myself to tick off what's been achieved. In theory, it should work. But then, you know me. (Right? o_O No? O_O Who are you?)
4. Eat food. Lots of food.
5. Continue drawing as therapy. Fantasy and fashion illustration always gets my spirits up.
Ashana Lian .
I'm taking a one week break from... everything. I'll catch-up on the blogs I'm following as soon as I'm back! I'll also be taking a break from my 2015 Reading Challenges. Any newcomers during that time - please join in!